Where the Rude Words Go - Ruin's Log

=18th July 3006=

...I suppose if I'm going to get asked questions like "how do you feel you've changed" and other such counselor-speak, I should really try and see if there's a pattern to the chaos. A log's as good a way to do that as any, though I hope if someone tries this promotion thing on me again, someone else hits them first.

Why does anyone think it matters? I don't want to give orders. I don't want to run things - that's the job of someone who can have a rifle aimed at them without fainting. Or someone who wants the job, which would be practically anyone else. It's a lot more likely to cause problems than it is to solve anything - I can just imagine the sheer magnitude of Dirionis' joy, for example. I hope I can keep on imagining it, too, because I don't think I want to be around to see it.

If you give me rank, I'll use it. That's what I told them, and I meant it. This place is falling apart, always falling apart, and someone has to get it fixed. Better to do it myself than whine because no one else is. Maybe they are, anyway, and I'm just elsewhere and don't see it. Lord knows there's work enough for a whole colony of engineers and then some on Hancock.

Ran into a Jackal yesterday. Very glad I didn't follow Malion, that day on the beach - the militia may not be a little slice of Heaven, but at least Diri's just an ass and not looking to throttle me in my sleep. God forbid you say "good morning" to a human. Rude people, very rude. I still don't know why Jantine's different - then again, Jantine seems to be on his own personal scale. I wish I could shake the certainty that he's going to wind up buried between two doors, if he gets a burial at all.


 * sigh* Exercises. Military exercises. On a mountain in the middle of nowhere, because of course that's the very first place someone would attack, right? I really do not understand the military mind. I suppose if it makes them happy, that's justification enough for going along with it, and at least I'm getting a solid refresher course in basic electricity and generator design. I wish these stupid mudos would make up their minds. Do they want to flex their muscles and practice shooting things in the middle of nowhere, or stay home and play video games? Who the hell hauls their video game console up a mountain, anyway? Aside from, judging by the evidence, everyone?

Khuy s nimi. It doesn't matter. If it comes down to it, "Urfkgar smash" seems to be a perfectly valid means of getting a point through a marine's skull, but maybe it won't need to go that far. Luna's gone, and this place is as well defended as a wet piece of tissue paper can make it. It'd be nice to think somebody else actually gave a damn.

...Oh dear. Shouting, again. Guess I'd better go see what's gotten broken, exploded, mis-wired or used as a ballistic missile.