The Lesson: Choices

Northreach Constabulary - Cell

''A five-foot by five-foot quarried stone cell, with a shardwood bench and a thin pillow for a prisoner to rest upon, a wooden trough full of water, and a narrow slit in the floor into which the inhabitant can dispose of personal waste. An iron door with a small window in it separates the cell from the mainhall.''

When the redheaded prisoner said she couldn't take being restricted, she wasn't kidding. Kallyn is sitting on the floor in the corner of the room, knees to her chest, head leaned back against the wall. Her eyes are closed and bear dark circles, and she is breathing deeply, muttering, "Too small... can't breathe, it's too... too fucking small, I can't..."

From Northreach Constabulary,

Celeste steps into the constabulary, nodding to a few of the guards and making her way towards the occupied cell. "Mistress Lake," she states by way of greeting. The mage's condition not going unnoticed to the Mikin. "May we speak?" The noblewoman looks back to the guard and a subtle wave to the cage.

The mage girl nods, "C-could you open the door, j-just a little...? Let some air in, I don't... R-really don't take small spaces well..." Kallyn continues on with the deep breathing, partially to calm herself and partially to ward off that breathing problem that's really all in her head, "Is it j-just me, or d-did the room get smaller? L-light, I c-can't..."

From Northreach Constabulary,

Celeste stands outside the doorway, and speaks quietly to the guard. "They cannot let you out, Mistress. Nor the door kept open unless the Duke requests as such. But I would wish to come and speak with you, for a time." Another look towards the guard for him to allow the Mikin to enter.

The guard nods, and unlocks the door to allow the noblewoman in. Kallyn - sitting in the far corner with her knees to her chest, arms manacled behind her back, feet shackled, and head resting on the wall - merely nods again, "I-it's okay... J-just... Light, too fucking s-small..." She struggles to keep herself calm, but her breathing is starting to lose its deep, long rhythm, "C-can't... c-can't let it g-get to me... They'll kill me, I can't... H-have to breathe... T-too small..."

From Northreach Constabulary,

Celeste smiles back to the Seamel before stepping into the cell. "Would you like to join me, my lord?" A question thrown back to the man before stepping in and sitting down on the plank bed. "Mistress Lake, have you changed your mind since we last spoke? Freedom is at your control... but control is the important word there."

"I'm n-not... Leave me in h-here, I'm not..." The redhead shakes her head, her body starting to shake some from the effort of keeping her head on, "So close to j-just... I h-haven't learned yet, I'm s-still... C-can't lose control, n-not here, not..." Kallyn's babbling gets a little frantic as she forces herself to renew the deep breaths, "H-have to... to s-stay... T-too dangerous still... H-haven't... haven't learned... Not yet, n-not... not ready..."

Gefrey Seamel nods to Celeste with a smile, slipping in after her. "My. Confinement seems to have had quite an effect on you, Mistress Lake," he says. "It may work better if you try and calm down, hmm?" He looks aside to Celeste, giving her a questioning look with a raised eyebrow.

"Kallyn, come and sit on the bed. We need to speak, and I need you to focus your facilities," explains the Mikin. She gives a pat to the plank and a steady gaze to the mage, though she does raise a hand to invite the Seamel closer, if he wishes. "Think of a field, and allow your thoughts to walk there."

"It's too small... c-can't... can't breathe..." Kallyn mutters, just as she had been in the beginning, "Walls, th-the walls... it k-keeps getting s-smaller..." A soft crackling arises from behind her back, but is just as quickly gone, "N-no, can't... w-won't let it..." Her eyes squeeze shut harder and she stops shaking with a hard swallow, "G-go ahead and t-talk, L-Lady Celeste, I can... Light, I hate small spaces..." After a bit of sitting there she does calm some, but it's not much and the mage girl seems disinclined to move from her corner.

Gefrey Seamel looks slowly aside to Celeste as he goes to her, and murmurs, "I'll admit, if this is you, your methods are very effective."

Celeste looks up to Gefrey, slowly shaking her head. "Mistress Lake, do you realize that if you keep pursuing the path you walk, then such a place as this is where you will remain," explains the Mikin. "Control, Kallyn, is the greatest weapon you can ever wield. This is what you must learn now, or remain here. Too much rests in the balance, and your actions speak more than for yourself when you wear the mark."

A slow nod, and Kallyn merely responds with, "I understand." The words are slow, accompanied by another deep swallow and an even deeper sigh. She takes a while longer to calm herself, concentrating hard and not daring to open her eyes. "I understand," she repeats, managing to sound almost normal, "My powers, my tongue, my temper... I'm not leaving until they are under control... I can't afford to... I can't let myself hurt everyone I care about..." Another deep breath, another few moments of collection, "I haven't learned yet, my Lady. I need more time here, more of this unbearable constriction... I'm not ready to leave."

Gefrey Seamel frowns, looking over to Kallyn with a raised eyebrow. "No, probably not," he murmurs his agreement. "It's more than just your powers you must learn to control, but I'm certain you've realized this much, already." He folds his hands in his lap. "I have to wonder, though, this wasn't done sooner? Odd."

Celeste nods and looks over to the Seamel. "Sometimes it is more drastic measures that can do more harm than good, my lord." A look back to Kallyn. "The last time your tongue got you in trouble, Mistress, you nearly lost your life. Do you truly believe this cage will be enough to cull the anger in you? But with each action you do, each moment of disrespect to the nobles... pushes those you care about closer to the Old city. Do you understand what I mean by this, mistress?"

"I told you when you called the guards, my Lord. Most people choose to deal with me themselves," Kallyn replies, seeming to have completely calmed down. She still refuses to open her eyes as she addresses Celeste, "Referring to Hawk's Aerie, my Lady? Where I was nearly killed twice in less than twenty-four hours thanks to my tongue?" Finally, steely grey eyes open slowly, and she takes a deep breath as she looks to Celeste, "I don't believe I ever thanked you for pulling Varal away... So thank you." A small nod, and then those eyes are closed again, "I do not know if this place will help me learn control. But I figure one of two things will happen..."

"If you don't learn control, things could be bad for the other mages here," Gefrey points out. "There is trouble enough as it is. You won't make it easier." He gives Kallyn a cool look. "Try to at least keep that in mind, yes?"

"My Lord Seamel, that is exactly what I'm trying to explain to Mistress lake," Celeste says and meets the mage's gaze when she looks up. "Do you care for you friends, Kallyn? If so, then you must learn that life is not always as you would wish for it to be. And yes, I was referring to the Aerie."

"No need to repeat yourselves," Kallyn points out, trying to be polite although she sounds a little bit strained, "I understand the 'why', merely not the /how/..." Her head returns to leaning against the wall, and the mage's legs stretch out straight in front of her with the sound of jingling chain, one crossed over the other. "The 'how' was always my problem..."

"If I did not need to repeat myself, Mistress. We would not be here now," explains Celeste gently. She clasps her hands together on her lap. "The how is finding a means to channel your anger. Did you think my words nothing more than complacency when I spoke to you that day. We all need a means to funnel our emotions and feelings."

"Indeed," says Gefrey. "And in this case, the answer sounds simple and complex all at the same time. Use your head. Exert some self-control."

Kallyn chuckles at Gefrey, "Simple and complex, indeed, my Lord." And then she shakes her head, "Channeling hasn't been working. I've been doing so many things to let off the steam, and it just..." The girl whacks her head on the wall with a dull -thunk-, "The few things that do help, I can't do, because they scare the locals. Attacking my sword with lightning, examining a tiny ball of blue flame... When I had places to experiment with my powers, I /never/ got so angry and I didn't get angry so quickly. It just... builds up..."

"Such is the way of Shadow, Mistress. Or have you forgotten that is what you are trying to harness," questions Celeste gently. "You need to find a means that has nothing to do with your talents, perhaps a trade, and *very* intensive. Start it while you are angry, and within an hour, you cannot hang onto the rage and it passes. Soon you will be able to call up this calm without such menial means, and why I wished to teach you... so to learn this calm, and restraint. But with your current actions, mistress, you may find yourself here... or in the shadows. We do not have the time for such involved lessons and so you must learn to govern yourself."

"Perhaps smithing would be good for you," Gefrey suggests. "Or glassblowing. There are plenty of trades that would be useful in Northreach. Be productive, as the Lady suggests, and have it be something intensive."

"Something that will likely piss me off some more," Kallyn points out, "We've had this discussion before, Lady Celeste, I don't have the patience for a trade." A sigh, then, and the redhead adds, "But... I suppose it is worth a try, if it will help. Is there demand for a woodsmith, perhaps, I wonder?"

"Mistress, you need to approach it with an understanding that it is meant to aid you. If you use it just as another excuse to lose your temper, then there's little need to pursue it." Celeste sighs heavily and combs a hand through her hair. "I'm intending on speaking to the Duke, Mistress Lake and seeing about putting you into my custody for the next month. That is how long you would have to learn control... if he's amenable. But you must learn, there will always be people or situations that will anger us in this world. It is up to our own self control whether we give in to such angers."

"Hmm. I suppose I shold try and set up shop, if you'll be trying to become a woodsmith," Gefrey muses, before looking aside to Celeste. "If I might ask, what will happen if she fails?"

Kallyn eyeballs Celeste, "Making things easier for me isn't going to help me learn anything. Let me suffer a bit longer, Lady Celeste, I haven't been here long enough to tell whether or not it will force me to where I need to be." She shudders as she glances to the walls and closes her eyes again, "And, my Lord, I wouldn't worry about the shop if I were you. Starting from scratch doesn't really give one much use, you know?"

"A price I"m not sure that Mistress Lake would be willing to pay," Celeste says to Gefrey and looks back to Kallyn. "I would not make things easier. My time in the Stanchion that one learns from humility and trials. But I would still need to be able to convince the Duke that such a path may be worth pursuing. Or you can remain here, Mistress Lake. But one's own thoughts can become poisonous where we can rationalize our thoughts."

Gefrey Seamel hmms, then stands. "Well, I believe I will let you work out the details with her," Gefrey says as he stands. "Good day, Lady Celeste, Mistress."

"Light keep, my Lord," Kallyn replies with a nod to the Seamel. She shifts a bit, slowing standing and moving towards Celeste, "It is up to you, Lady Celeste, but..." Her shoulders sink a bit and she looks out the window in the door, before very carefully stepping backwards through her arms and bringing them in front of her before taking a seat, "I'm more worried about what might happen to /you/... if I don't learn in time..."

"Light Keep you, my lord," replies Celeste. Her attention returning back to the mage. "And what do you think the price to me would be, Mistress Lake?" She sets her hands back into her lap and keeping an eye to the mage.

"I-I..." Kallyn's jaw hangs open slightly as she tries to find words. With a sigh, she looks down at her hands and shakes her head, "No. I'll rot here rather than... Just, no..."

"Than what, Kallyn? If you want to rot away here and prove that marked people are not worth saving, this is your choice," explains the Mikin. "Or you can learn to control your tempers, just as I had to once."

"One person does not speak for a whole population," Kallyn says firmly, sounding more like she wishes to convince herself than Celeste, "Just because I'm not worth saving doesn't mean they aren't... Surely I can't be the only person who realizes this..."

"That is where you are wrong, Mistress Lake," sighs the noblewoman. "You once spoke to me of the Light I hold, that you spoke of -my kind- as a whole. In your eyes, were all seen the same. Do you not think that people are already afraid of this city for the mages it bears... now add to that a mage who had trouble with authority. Say it the right way, and it will seem all mages bear this opinion as well."

"So it's either leaving the Mages I care about at risk... or putting you at risk..." Kallyn says flatly, "I..." She swallows and sighs, staring at the water trough thoughtfully and muttering one word to herself.

"Kael..."

Steely eyes close and a single tear works its way down her cheek slowly. Her voice rises back to normal and she states, "Fine. If you can get his Grace to agree to your idea, then I'll go along with it... I just hope you know what you're doing."