The Origin of the Lioness of Hedgehem

Journal Entry (undated)

I was born to Bolin and Loray Zahir on Shadowwatch, the 9th day of Bleakdreary in 595. My father told me that I arrived in the wee hours just as dawn was breaking into the frigid sky. Father dubbed me Tomassa in honor of House Lomasa as his mother was from that house and his dearest friend also bore that name. The birth was difficult for my mother, so father did his best to hide his disappointment in the fact that I was not a son. Two later children of my parents' union were lost before my mother's belly grew large enough for the pregnancies to be obvious. Twas my sister Corra's birth, five years after my own, that was the death of my mother. Father had always wanted a son to carry on his line, but he had to settle for two daughters. So eager was he to pass on his knowledge that he taught us all that he would have taught a son.

I rushed headlong and happily into the role of tomboy with Corra hot upon my heels. Admittedly, I did most anything that I wished to do with little restraint as Father tried to make up for our lack of a mother by indulging our every whim. Corra eventually took interest in more ladylike pursuits than I, though she never lost our mutual love for horses. I, however, never believed that I was any less than any man that I met. Why, I wondered, should I be thought of as weaker or lesser when I was as strong and hardy as any of them?

Thanks to my father's vassals and his procurement of instructors, I learned to fight, to ride, to read, to write, to manage lands... In short, everything that he would have taught to a son of his line. I studied the so-called 'noble' use of the rapier, though I found the weapon to be too light and prissy for my taste. I studied the use of small blades in battle, jousting, archery, and even applied the bow and the sword on horseback. Mounted combat was exhilarating to me. Even now, I adore riding at break-neck speed with a lance or with my sword drawn to face a foe. My tutors varied from guards at the Keep to retired Bladesmen who taught me stealthy movement and shadowing to track my quarry and protect myself. The rapier was traded for the longsword and I threw myself into the study of swordsmanship with a passion. Not only did I learn these things that a son of my father would have learned, I excelled in them, proving time and time again that the fairer sex could often be as tough as the stronger sex.

When I was fifteen years of age, a tourney was held in Hedgehem as part of a marriage celebration. Naturally, I was eager to join the lists to publicly prove myself amongst a field of men. I was infuriated when I was refused at the registration simply because I was female. After much argument, I realized that I could not bully my way into the tournament and I withdrew to lick the wounds to my pride. My scream of rage was overheard by someone who would have a profound impact on my life. An aged nobleman, whom I will allow to remain anonymous thanks to his kindness to me, gave me the loan of his armor and sent his vassal to enter me on the lists as 'Nolan Zahir'. The paint was still drying on my repainted shield when I entered the first match. After a few blows, the mythical lion depicted upon it lost most of its mane in a smear of paint and dust.

I competed with all of the fire in my soul that day, channeling my earlier rage into a concentrated effort to prove myself. When at last the melee field had dwindled, I was unsteady upon my feet, but I stood as did a giant of a Kahar who wore a boot with a tall sole to make up for the fact that one of his legs was shorter than the other. Battling fatigue as well as each other, we engaged in a languid dance of attacks and parries as those who had already fallen watched upon the sidelines. My hulking opponent drew upon his strength and lashed out at me in an attack that could've removed my head from my shoulders were he not tired to the point of staggering. The blow from his blade knocked the helmet from my head and left my cheek running with blood, giving me the scar that I proudly bear to this day. Still reeling from the bite of his weapon, I lashed out in the only way that I knew how - I kicked at his shorter leg with as much of my weight as I could put behind it. To this day, I never remember hearing the gasp that went up from the crowd when I was revealed as a woman, nor the sounds of shock and protest that I am told followed. My attention was upon my foe - that bloody Kahar. The kick to his knee made his leg give way and he teetered and then crashed like a tree that had been cut. When I held the point of my blade to his throat, he yielded, but I could see the anger and wounded pride in his eyes. I had done it! I had won!

The next few moments are a blur to my memory. In my mind's eye, I can see my father's face when I looked into the stands. There were a myriad of emotions upon it. Pride, anger, fear. And then the noise of the crowd began to sound in my ears. Their excited noises were hushed when the Duke stood and called me forward. Until that moment, I had not felt any fear, but, when I had to face the consequences of my actions, I began to realize that the outcome might not be as I'd expected. The fear upon my father's face spoke of it. Those steps to the dias were longer than the walk would be back to Bramblestone. I kept my eyes lowered in respect, so did not know of the Duke's reaction until he spoke. "You are the daughter of Bolin Zahir," I remember him saying in a considering voice. And then, to my relief, he laughed. "Lift up your shield, child," he said, and I did even as I lifted my head. "You need to paint a raven beneath that lioness," Duke Zahir counseled with warm amusement in his voice. Then, lifting his arms, he announced, "The Lioness of Hedgehem is hereby declared the victor!"

That day was many things for me. It was the day that I finally made my father proud of having a daughter. It was the day that I received my scar, my name, and my device. It was the day that I first demonstrated that a female is as worthy in battle as any man and I reveled in it. Of course, there was talk of the tournament in both negative and positive tones, but I have never been one who is afraid of controversy. I generate it to this day. Some people were aghast at my appointment as the constable of Hedgehem, but I have proven time and again that I am capable of the job. Most recently, there was a commotion at the races in Vozhdya when I bested my two male opponents. I suppose that I shall always be the center of such attention, though I shall not complain as I have put myself squarely into that position.


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