Speak of the Dead

Shrine of True Light


 * ''A small garden, basically a well-kept patch of lawn bisected by a pathway. It is shadowed by two trees to both sides of the path, with a bench set between them on either side. The path ends at a sunstone: a man-high slab of marble, engraved beautifully with the Eight-Rayed Sunburst.

The garden is lit by ceremonial torches, centering on the tall sunburst cairn. Empty at this time of night, the only presence is a man in the white velvets of the church, calmly sweeping the path with zenlike concentration.

Chaori Balsam very quietly, very carefully walks up to the priest sweeping as a meditation exercise. "Reverend Sir, should I use the path to reach the sunstone, or walk on the grass?"

The sweeping stops as Savarius glances up at Chaori, sparing a pleasant, quiet smile. His voice is a rich tenor, marred by the slight stutter. "You are w-welcome on this path, child, or to enjoy the rest of th-the garden as you please; The light isn't p-picky about an approach." He moves aside, off the path, with a bow of his head.

Chaori Balsam bows her head, a bit more deeply. "I didn't want to make a mess of the path, Reverend Sir." She quietly walks down the path to kneel before the sunstone, head bowed.

"A shrine's v-value is in the people it serves. If a mess is made, th-that's what I have a broom for." Savarius answers, with a chuckle. "Do you s-seek blessings or counsel, or are you here to m-meditate and pray? Please do let me know if I may help."

Chaori Balsam considers this. "Perhaps both counsel and prayer, Reverend Sir. I still grieve for those I could not save."

"Ah, th-the pox." Savarius answers, his voice a sigh. "They have g-gone to the light, taken into her bosom as all who s-suffer are, my child. They feel no pain now, th-that is left to those of us who remain. Sh-Shall we say a prayer for them?" He asks, offering his hands to the woman.

Chaori Balsam replies, "Please," and takes the priest's hands. Whatever she's wearing has white woolen sleeves.

Savarius grasps Chaori's hands with his own callused ones, clasping them gently. He bows his head, and intones, stutter free, "To those who pass before us, we offer up our hearts, lifting them in joy and sorrow alike. May the eternal Light, from which we all come and to where we all must return, carry our memories and love of those departed. To us, the humble servants among the living, may the Light grant a zephyr of bracing hope and strength to see us through our trials."

Chaori Balsam reverently says, "Amen," then comments, "As sick as I was for some of the time, somehow I usually found the strength to keep going. I was just exhausted afterwards to make up for it."

Savarius releases her hands, picking his broom back up and smiling slightly. "Seeing d-death sometimes is necessary for us to ap-appreciate what a blessing life is. I'm glad to hear y-you have endured, mistress..?" He prompts for a name, with a low chuckle.

Chaori Balsam answers, "Chaori Balsam, Reverend Sir."

"Ahhh.. Yes, I heard of your ch-charitable work with the patients of the pox." Savarius answers, nodding again. "I'm ac-actually a shadowscourge, but the tender of this sh-shrine passed away. In his ad-advanced age, the pox carried him off with m-merciful quickness. Trenton L-Lark mentioned your name, I r-recall."

Chaori Balsam softly says, "I'm sorry to hear of his death. Do you blame me for Master Lark? He must have been incubating the pox when I first saw him, because he showed no signs of it at all."

"No, ch-child. It's easy to tell you do not b-bear the capability for such malice as to d-do anything purposely. M-Master Lark, and I use that term loosely, was eager to sh-shift the blame from his own shoulders. He too is in-innocent, but corrupt in mind and sp-spirit, sadly." Savarius answers, leaning on the broom. "More importantly.. Let me ask you this, however. D-Do you blame yourself?"

Chaori Balsam considers this very carefully. "I blame myself more for the Emperor's death. I should have told the Chancellor 'no' when he sent me to tend the rest of the Council."

"Ah.. Blame is s-such a complex emotion, is it not?" Savarius asks, propping the broom against the tree and offering an arm. "I find w-walking and talking always helps me, wh-when I am troubled. Shall we explore the garden?" He offers, inclining his head. "If you had to m-make the decision all over again, would you have ab-abandoned the greater number of people for one?"

Chaori Balsam gets to her feet and takes his arm. "I should have. They weren't dying. We might have saved the Emperor if we'd brought his fever down. I'll bet those ninnies he had for maids ran off when I told them to draw a cool bath."

Savarius starts walking, a slow stroll of a pace. "Usually people who s-serve those in power are vaguely competent." He answers, looking thoughtful. "Did you know th-they weren't dying at the time?"

Chaori Balsam admits, "Maybe. If the Chancellor sent for me as soon as he knew they were ill, they couldn't have been. The rest of them were in the first fever stage. The Tax Assessor and her betrothed were weak enough to need help getting to her chamber, so I may have saved them a nasty fall."

"They say that hindsight is ever so clear, b-but it seems to me that we only examine it in such close ret-retrospect when things go wrong." Savarius murmurs, his voice whisper soft. "So, we construct in our minds, a Ch-Chaori who knew what to do, who to tend to at the right times.. Such thinking is not only punishing yourself, b-but it also draws very deeply on things you couldn't ha-have known at the time. You m-may not have been able to save Talus, b-but your mind, it wh-whispers that you could have tried harder, could have done this or th-that differently. Such thinking will n-not return him."

Chaori Balsam's blue eyes begin to fill with tears. "I know that, but I still think, 'if only I had stayed'. His eyes were deeply sunken, but he wasn't dead yet."

"It isn't an e-easy battle, when your own thoughts are the en-enemy." Savarius murmurs, softly. "On one hand, he was a mere m-man, sick and suffering. The power of your own c-compassion is admirable, but it must b-be hard to bear. The death of th-this one bothers you more than the other scores that died, and I don't think it's j-just because of who he was. I encounter something s-similar when I minister to others.. The knowledge that when I most w-wish to provide comfort and share the love that the Light gives, that there will be times where I will be regarded with fear, that there will be times when I must w-watch others pass into the darkness, ears and hearts c-closed to what I offer. You are a healer, and of all th-the professions, I think I understand yours the most. Human hands, our hands, exist to reach out to others. For all the men and w-women in this world who exist to tear it down, there are those like you w-who live to build others up.. It is the h-hardest kind of life, the one you l-lead. Talus Kahar has gone to the light, Ch-Chaori. That is the only certainty I can tell you; That he s-suffers no longer. Of the r-rest, only time and your own heart can heal."

Chaori Balsam smiles at him. "Thank you. You're a very kind man. I'm not sure why Talus troubles me so. I think it's because I probably could have saved him, had I been summoned sooner. I can't believe no one noticed he had the pox, or how high his fever was. He was beyond delirium into coma when I finally reached him."

"You might not recognize me in armor with my weapon." Savarius answers, grinning wryly. "A man like the em-emperor was probably rarely alone; It is possible he h-hid his infirmity, while we're delving into the r-realm of sheer guesswork. Who can s-say? It's ev-even possible that he confused the early stages with an inconvenient but harmless il-illness. It is ours to not only understand, but to accept that we will l-likely never know, which is al-always a bitter medicine to take."

Chaori Balsam argues, "That only goes so far. The fastest death from the dark pox I've ever seen was three days. The poor man just did not respond to treatment. Given Talus' tendency to acquire every illness of the lungs under the sun, I can believe he died in two days. I cannot believe he went through the entire course of the disease in just one day."

"H-how true. The Kahar curse. I w-was fortunate to merely have a chronic st-stammer." Savarius answers, nodding. "One day s-seems unlikely, d-doesn't it? I am unfamiliar w-with much in the way of h-healing. Which part of th-the disease did he succumb to? F-Fever, or m-maybe something related to the lungs?"

Chaori Balsam says, "I didn't perform the autopsy, so I do not know. He was able to speak clearly, without coughing. His fever was high enough to kill on its own. I can't believe no one thought to bring it down."

"From wh-what I know after d-dealing with farmhands and peasants, it is th-that ignorance is a lack that v-very few care to worry about r-remedying. It is all too c-common that people are t-taught little beyond their tr-trades or church lessons, and that k-keeps the feudal system in pl-place. I c-can fully believe that nobody thought to br-bring it down. If I had been th-there, I doubt I would have known to. My treatment of fevers usually in-involves making soup." Savarius adds, quietly.

Chaori Balsam smiles gently. "Soup can be surprisingly useful. It's wonderful for chills and colds. I know, I know. They did not have experience with epidemics and I did. Still... from the tiny bit I saw of him, Talus was a good man and his life was practically thrown away."

"Cooking is m-my hobby." Savarius adds, grinning now. "It soothes me, wh-when I must deal with the abrasive, and calms me after I have to s-sit a deathwatch. Those never get more pleasant, n-not even through the years."

Chaori Balsam smiles brightly. "I keep thinking I should learn how to cook. I never did."

"If you d-don't mind my bad habit of getting preachy, I can sh-show you a few things." Savarius replies, nodding. "I'm wh-what is called a sh-shard, which means I'm a solo agent r-rather than part of a ray. It gives me a f-fair amount of freedom in my movements and assignments, as you c-can see. "

Chaori Balsam grins. "If I wasn't certain you had better things to do with your life, Shadowscourge, I would invite you to become Outroost Keep's chaplain and cook. We really need a cook."

Savarius laughs delightedly at that, his rich tenor throaty. "I would pr-prefer it, but alas I still have the task of hunting down the oc-occasional heretic. Which is r-rather unpleasant, at th-that. Still, I shall be c-certain to stop by and offer spiritual guidance anywhere my presence is d-desired. The church is st-stretched rather thin in some places; So many l-lords and ladies aren't exactly being faithful shrinegoers, right n-now."

Chaori Balsam sighs a little. "No? I would have thought they'd all be praying to avert a civil war. I pray so, daily. Also, Lady Tien Mikin might well appreciate spiritual guidance right now. She's a new mother and I think she had no idea what to expect."

"Tien Mikin. If you will tell me where she resides, I w-will call on her promptly." Savarius answers, with a nod. "A civil war, hm? N-No, I think it unlikely. Government officials and em-emperors, as well as church Coronas, come and g-go. It is in the h-hearts of the population where the Light resides." He thumps at his chest once, with his free hand. "Mortal m-means will never be able to sh-shake the roots, the f-foundation, even in t-troubling times such as th-these. That's what g-gives me hope for the future."

Chaori Balsam replies, "I hope you're right. The next Emperor is only two years old and no Regent has been named. As for Lady Tien, she resides in Moorgate Stronghold. From Hedgehem, go north, then northeast, then north again. Be careful on that moor. It's always foggy. I wonder. Have you seen a little girl around here? She looks to be not much more than six, with an incredibly patched green dress, amber eyes, hair that's pale blonde if you can get the dirt out and some horrifying scars."

"Moorgate. It seems that my w-work takes me in that direction, th-then. I must confess an an-ancestral aversion to the moors, but I will persevere." Savarius answers, with a complacent expression. "N-No, I confess I have not. Is she someone who n-needs assistance, as well?"

Chaori Balsam nods. "Her name is Pia. Every time I think about how badly she must have been hurt, I need to take valerian root to sleep. With that coloration, she might bear the Sun's Kiss. I've been trying to find out if her birth parents were citizens, but I haven't seen her in weeks."

"Pia." Savarius repeats once again, committing the name to memory. "If she is sunkissed, I will be able to t-tell, and she will be taken in b-by the church. If not, I'll s-see what else I can do f-for her. If you find her first, please write to me, and I w-will come."

Chaori Balsam nods. "I will. She's often somewhere between the crossroads and the Shadow Wall. Go very slowly if you find her, I beg of you. She's terrified of men. She's still afraid of me at times."

"If it helps, you may tell her I am a eunuch." Savarius adds, with a chuckle. "Although she is p-perhaps too young to un-understand the distinction. I hope you f-find her first, as I think it would b-be best if you introduced her to me g-gently. Otherwise, I c-cannot guarantee that I will be able to help."

Chaori Balsam says, "What frightens me at times is that she might understand the distinction. She told me once that she works in some place known as 'the Shiv'. I have a feeling it, and its customers, are thoroughly vile."

"Shiv.. Mmh. It s-sounds like it." Savarius confirms, mouth bracketed into a frown. "It's important if we intend to s-set her up with a foster f-family that you find out if she has c-citizenship. It isn't easily procured these d-days.. Of c-course, the ch-church doesn't care if it takes her in, but th-that would be for a theological-based up-upbringing."

Chaori Balsam says "I don't know how suited to the Church Pia would be, but..." She shakes her head, shuddering a little. "Almost anything has to be better than the life she's led."

"T-True. Once w-we see her again, we c-can help her figure out wh-which course to choose. Unless sh-she's Sunkissed, in which case I must b-bring her back to Sun's Keep." Savarius answers, soberly.

Chaori Balsam asks, "How do the Sunkissed find the courage to become Shadowscourges? I suppose it's not like a normal vocation, or like the healer's call. My first teacher said it almost seems as though healers are born, not made."

"We are raised from a v-very early age by the c-church. Who c-can say? I personally believe the Light has a d-destiny in mind for us all, Ch-Chaori. " Savarius answers, softly. "With the Sunkissed, we are born to protect others and serve the Light. It is s-simply who we are and wh-what we must do. Most are as-assigned to a ray, a trio.. Only a f-few have the c-calling to be a shard."

Chaori Balsam looks thoughtful. "I would love to discuss this over cooking lessons. Outroost Keep is on the way to Moorgate Stronghold, or I can return here. Thank the Light, the people of Outroost are usually healthy and not prone to accidents."

"I shall endeavor to v-visit both locations tomorrow." Savarius responds, releasing Chaori's arm as they come full circle to the path again. "The h-hour grows late, Ch-Chaori. May the Light bless and keep you on your journey home."

Chaori Balsam smiles. "I beg your pardon for keeping you awake. I keep such odd hours that I never really notice how late it is. Light bless you, Shadowscourge."

"Nonsense, I'm av-available at any hour.. But it is c-customary to rise with the Sun, not to go to sl-sleep with the dawn." Savarius adds, with a delighted laugh. "Take care, my f-friend. In private, you may call me Savarius if it pleases you. I am not overly en-enamored of titles, but they serve to identify in public."

Chaori Balsam says, "Then you may call me Chaori. Take care and sleep well." She leaves, decidedly lighter of step than when she entered the shrine. Her guard follows her out past the gate, looking happy at the thought of getting out of the cold.

''Return to Season 4 (2006)