Headline News - December 2006

Chaos At The Dead Fish
Posted By: Colchek Article: DEC06-1 Reported To: INN Reported On: New Luna Reported At: Sun Dec 10 19:00:08 3006

Chaos At The Dead FishGreenville, New Luna - The revelries of the patrons of the Dead Fish Tavern were disrupted this afternoon by the un-expected arrival of a Nemoni heavy cargo freighter. Not having been seen for years, the smallest denizens of the galaxy literally crashed the party when their ship, suffering engine trouble, crashed into the bar to end up on a table, setting its napkin dispenser and placemats on fire. Quick thinking by the bartender and an NLM pilot brought the fire under control, stabilizing the situation until another Nemoni vessel arrived to search for the missing ship. Reports indicate that comm chatter between the various Nemoni vessels indicate that the Nemoni, apparently having set up shop on New Luna's Ghost Chime Isle, are commencing evacuation after suffering collateral damage from the fierce fighting between PANL and NLM forces in the recent conflict. Nemoni personnel cleared the wreck from the bar quickly, and assistance was offered by the NLM pilot present in their evacuation efforts. Sightings of Nemoni ships on New Luna has increased since the incident, pointing to a potential speedup of their operations. At least for the time being, the Nemoni are remaining tight-lipped about their future plans. - INN

Distress Call In Ikeopo System!
Posted By: Keller Article: DEC06-2 Reported To: SBS Reported On: Sivad Reported At: Fri Dec 15 07:48:58 3006

Sivad, Ikeopo System. In the early hours of the morning, a distress call was placed by a freighter on the outskirts of the Ikeopo system. The Admiralty has been rather tight lipped on the situations that warranted this distress call to be sent, but they have assured us, the Sivadian Broadcasting Service, that they will divulge more information when it becomes available. Reassurances have been made towards the safety of the ship and the crew during their dangerous ordeal. Eye witness reports that the stricken vessel came into port under its own steam and received an escort by a Royal Naval Aerospace Service Patrol, to an orbital dry dock, after escorting it from the outer reaches. More information as it comes to hand. This is Alan Stapleton, for the Sivadian Broadcasting Service.

Former Noble Found Dead In Sandmother!
Posted By: Keller Article: DEC06-3 Reported To: INN Reported On: Demaria Reported At: Tue Dec 19 01:45:28 3006

New Alhira, Demaria, The Sandmother has always been an important part of the Demarian culture, held in a very important religious significance. From the passage of kit to adult and to judgement of exiles in the days before Sanctuary, it has been a corner stone of one religion. It is also a hard and testing place, with tribals often coming across the occasional deceased member of their race. The Sandmother claimed another life, the life of Razorback Cliffwalker, a former noble who often enjoyed travelling into the Sandmother alone. Razorback Cliffwalker partially decomposed remains were found by a hunting party, apparently having been trampled to death by Padraki Desert Bumbler while hunting. It is believed that he succumbed to his injuries over a period of time. His parents were unable to be contacted to give a give a statement, while his former employers at Blackjack Shipping and Salvage have been informed. This is Pinknose Scoopchaser for INN, reporting from New Alhira.

Teenager Killed In Freak Accident!
Posted By: Keller Article: DEC06-4 Reported To: INN Reported On: Waldheim Reported At: Tue Dec 19 04:29:37 3006

New Berlin, Waldheim In the late hours of Monday morning, tragedy struck in the pool room of the Sommerwald Apartment building. Alistair Butcher, 15, was killed, while talking to three twenty year old women. After claiming to be a legendary martial artist, the young man attempted to perform a back flip. This is when tragedy struck. After almost completing his back flip, he lost his footing on some water on the tiles, slipped, struck his neck against the hot tub, also breaking it and managing to fall into the tub. Due to a damaged drain that wasn't notice earlier, the young man's hair was drawn in and tangled in it. Bystanders were unable to prevent Alistar Butcher from drowning. The witnesses of this devastating event, are currently undergoing counseling, while his family on Sivad have been contacted. They were not available to comment at this point in time. Hans Boughen, INN.

I Am Not A Woman: Eye Witness Of Alistar Butcher's Death Speaks!
Posted By: Keller Article: DEC06-5 Reported To: E!RN Reported On: Waldheim Reported At: Tue Dec 19 07:28:07 3006

New Berlin, Waldheim. One of the eye witnesses at the party agreed to give us first hand information, only hours after the death of Alistar Butcher. We speak to one to one of the men that actually saw it happen. "It feels like a dream," started Shultz Bieber (name changed to protect identity), a professional female impersonator, who is a known comedian on Waldheim. "I was there, a few friends and myself. We go the same time every night. We'd finish up our respective acts and we'd go there to have a shower and wind down from a hard night's work." Mister Bieber then went onto say, "This child, most likely not even capable of growing any form of facial hair comes up to us, blocking us from heading to the showers. I speak Terran Standard rather poorly and we're asking him to move. The child, he continued to make rather advance towards the three of us. Needless to say, I was offended... I hadn't even shaved my legs that night." Mister Bieber has been a female impersonator for near on five years, originally starting to get himself through collage when he was studying the practical application of nanomechanics, before dropping out of University to follow his dreams of being a comedian. He is also a happily married man with a first born being expected in March of next year. "He just wouldn't stop trying to impress us. Flexing, stretching... We're all straight men, darling, nothing strange going on there. That's when he tried to do a back flip. He... He... I don't know... He slipped in a puddle of water, we tried to prevent him from falling.... But we weren't quick enough. He did something, we heard (the) bone cracking and then he went in." Mister Bieber starts to cry at this point and it does take him several minutes to recompose himself. "We couldn't... Couldn't do.... do anything to save him... His hair went into the drain... And... And..." Mister Bieber wasn't able to give provide anymore of a comment after that, finding it hard to go on further. More as it becomes available. This is Lydia Hoch, for E!RN.

Trouble in Paradise?
Posted By: Keller Article: DEC06-6 Reported To: inn Reported On: new luna Reported At: Thu Dec 21 04:18:19 3006

Greenville, New Luna In front of terrified on lookers, a Timonae female waded out into Independence Harbor and proceeded to shoot herself with an energy weapon, fatally. The first person to response to this tragic event, reported by an unnamed source, to have been Corporal Jantine Osligoth of the New Luna Militia. The dead female Timonae, identified by the same source, is one Solace Starchaser. The cause of death has been ruled as suicide, but no further details are know at this time. Relatives have declined comment to this news organization as of this time, but our source says that funeral arrangements have been made. She has been survived by her husband and her adopted mother. This is Brett Harman bringing the news first, for INN.

Landing Pad Massacre!
Posted By: Keller Article: DEC06-7 Reported To: UIS Reported On: Ungstir Reported At: Mon Dec 25 06:39:48 3006

U-999, Ungstir. The infamous landing cavern of U-999 was the scene for violence earlier today, with six men being reported as dead, with two more missing. It is reported that two human stock men, and one Vollistan female initiated the violence on the group after a tense stand off. While no information is available to who the aggressors were, eye witness reports did mention that the IND Savour's Haste was seen leaving shortly after the incident occured, and was believed to be pursuing an unnamed and unarmed freighter. The unknown freight is believed to help several of the survivors from the shooting, escape. While no members of the citizen's committee of Ungstir were available for comment, it has been rumoured that a group of volunteer Kommisars may attempt to carry out an investigation. The families of the deceased have also been contacted, though none were available to comment. Mikel Porlatrov, UIS.

Refresher Malfuction Claims Life. Engineers Stumped!
Posted By: Keller Article: DEC06-8 Reported To: INN Reported On: Luna Reported At: Mon Dec 25 07:30:22 3006

Haise Anchorage, Luna. At 8.30pm, local, medical services were called to attend a rather unusual scene on the IND Silver Swan. A Lunite Doctor known as Rhian Conway, suffered fatal injuries after a refresher malfunctioned. While details at this moment are unclear, it is believed that the unit managed to suck the Lunite Woman through a five inch hole that feeds into the waste tanks in engineering. An independent engineer, Mister Frederick Quilter, was on hand to try and shine light on this rather unusual death. "Usually, your standard refresher unit of the KXL-220 range, only provides minimal suction to quickly and efficiently remove wastes away to the recycling unit which is generally located in engineering," Mister Quilter stated. "To suck a fully grown Lunite into the unit should be impossible and the checks that we ran after this, show that nothing astray occurred... Even if it did, the KXL-220 range of refreshers wouldn't be able to produce the suction required... Well, there hasn't been anything like it. But it is a new system on the market and a possible corner stone for this company." Luna Refreshers and Bidets PTY. LTD. were unable to be contacted at this point in time. Miss Conway's parents have also declined comment, and her previous employers were unable to be contacted. Tony Gladstone for INN.