Cry Me a River... Or Not


 * Necromundus: Grand Old Opera House: Backstage


 * Thick with dust and shadows, this cavernous chamber behind the main procenium stage is packed with old sets, racks of moth-ridden costumes and stacks of sheet music folders. Catwalks crisscross above.

The Demoness has found a nice comfortable spot backstage - a minor miracle of sorts, given the clutter - and seems to be enjoying a bit of small talk with the stagehand. Mostly about the stagehand's ex-girlfriend and her new lover, by the sound of it.

A rotten diva leads Zariel into the space, and he nods to her as he steps forward. "You're a real doll, babe," he says, "Most talented gal in here - and don't your forget it." She wanders back to the stage and he makes his way further in.

Lasciel waves the stagehand off as Zariel approaches. "Well, now. What could you possibly want, hm?"

"You said you wanted to help me," Zariel replies lightly, "I've thought up a way for you to do just that. Came to ask your price."

Lasciel smiles slightly. "Really," she says. "Perhaps I should ask what you want me to do."

"Demon tears," Zariel replies, "My own don't cut it."

Lasciel raises an eyebrow. "...Interesting," she says. "You want Xerum's Name, then."

"Bright gal," Zariel replies, "So now that you know what I want - what do /you/ want?"

Lasciel studies Zariel thoughtfully. "It is a bold plan," she drawls. "But do you truly think it will work? Knowing her Name is a strong move, but to truly *use* it you must be stronger than she is. Do you think you are?"

"No," Zariel admits, "But it's worth a try to keep her off my ass. Not really your concern anyway, is it?"

Lasciel narrows her eyes. "You truly are a fool. Coups are only a good career move if they *succeed*. It is not 'worth a try' if you fail. Using her *Name*, if you fail to bind her she would make you the Demon of Death - how then do you ascend?"

"Demon of Death?" Zariel quirks a brow, "Death is a neutral concept."

"Not," purrs Lasciel, "when a condition of your ascent is not to kill."

"What I was getting at is that there can be no Demon of Death," Zariel remarks, "There is already Death the mayor, after all. It's not a concept in the realm of good or evil."

"And mine," says Lasciel, tone turning flat, "is that it would take very little effort on Xerum's part to make sure you never ascend."

"So I never ascend," Zariel says calmly, "She doesn't need to be provoked to prevent my rising, Lasciel. If she can just snap her fingers and make it impossible, then she will when she's done toying with me regardless."

Lasciel shakes her head. "It is no wonder you wish to ascend. You do not think as you should to survive what you are. Have you ever heard the story of the engineer's watch?"

"No," Zariel replies, letting out a sigh, "Maybe /you/ should be the Demon of Annoyance. Seriously, why do you care?"

"That is for me to know," says Lasciel. "I am willing to help you, not stick my neck out for you." She flicks a hand. "The engineer's watch is an old temptation. A demon once tried to lure a railroad wanderer, a hobo, into the depths. In payment for his soul, he offered the hobo one wish - anything he wanted. The hobo said that he wanted a watch that could stop time - make one moment last forever. The demon laughed, and granted the wish - a golden engineer's watch he gave the man. When the hobo pulled the tab to wind the watch, time would stop forever in that moment. The hobo laughed at the demon and said he had won - that any time he pulled that tab, he would live forever in that moment. So he would never die, and the demon would never have his soul."

"You're going to have to tell me your point directly, darling, I'm a very dense man," Zariel replies simply.

"The man never pulled the tab," says Lasciel with a laugh. "He spent his life looking for a perfect moment. And when he lay dying, the demon collected both the watch and his soul." She points at Zariel. "Xerum is waiting for a perfect moment. That is your advantage."

"Mm," Zariel tilts his head, "You're saying that I should never present a 'perfect moment' to her. Difficult, seeing as I only know of one moment that might be considered perfect for pulling the rug out from under me. One that can't be prevented, so she'd have to miss it instead."

"Perfect moments rarely come," shrugs Lasciel. "Let me note an alternative for you - give her something else to worry about, besides you."

Zariel quirks an eyebrow. "What would she ever care about more than this bullshit?"

"Her life," purrs Lasciel. "Have you ever noticed the ring on her finger?"

"I've been a bit distracted," Zariel remarks, "No one could possibly get close enough to her, though."

"That ring is what makes her an archdemon," says Lasciel softly. "Take it, and she would be weak enough to bind inside it."

"Again, no one could get close enough," Zariel points out, "Really, you've seen how she moves."

Lasciel smiles. "But ...we might act in concert," she says. "You, and I, and Plutok, and perhaps others with an interest in power. Bind her in her own ring, back a new archdemon that would leave you a free hand."

Zariel's expression darkens. "No," he says, "Especially if you expect the new archdemon to be you."

Lasciel shakes her head. "Plutok," she says. "Nicely...dense."

The demon of Annoyance can't help but laugh at that, "You want to promote Nurgle-boy to an ArchDemon? Can you imagine how much worse his preaching would get? ArchDemon of Corn."

Lasciel smiles. "But how much easier to outwit him. Is that not...shall we say, an agreeable compromise?"

"That's what worries me, actually," Zariel remarks, "Easier to outwit is a double-edged sword. What's to keep someone else from usurping /him/? Or from becoming the true power behind the throne?"

Lasciel raises an eyebrow. "That is only a concern to you if you remain a demon, is it not?"

"This rising thing takes /seven months/," Zariel remarks, "That's more than enough time for Bad Shit to happen."

Lasciel spreads her hands. "You may consider your assistance my price. When there is a new archdemon, you will have your tears."

"Uh-uh," Zariel shakes his head, "Tears first. I don't trust you."

Lasciel shakes her head. "Nor do I trust you. Do as you will, then. I would have preferred a mutually beneficial arrangement."

"I have yet to break my word to anyone," Zariel points out, "And it wouldn't reflect well on me if I started now. I'm questing to impress the goodies, remember?"

Lasciel smiles. "And if it were not to my benefit to see you rise, I would not help you," she says. "But everything has its price."

Zariel sighs, "Even when I was doing my job, you people were nothing but pains in my ass. I'm not seeing enough benefit in this deal for me. Especially when the tears are kind of pointless after a new regime's put in place."

Lasciel shrugs. "Are they? With a demon's Name you can bind them. Who would you rather bind to your will? Plutok, or Xerum?"

"Wouldn't need to bind Plutok," Zariel remarks, "Even as an ArchDemon he wouldn't be nearly as much of a threat as she is."

Lasciel considers this. "...Give me a day," she says. "If I can work your desires into my own plans, then we will have an agreement. Otherwise...no." She regards Zariel solemnly. "Do not discuss it with anyone. As long as the matter is kept internal, the greater powers Below will not take notice - coups and intrigue happen all the time. But involve mortals, involve Ascendants, and give up your own plans."

"Fair enough," Zariel nods, "See you here, then?"

Lasciel nods. "Here will do. Alone, of course."

"Of course," Zariel replies, turning to leave, "See you tomorrow, then, Acid Babe."

Lasciel simply fades out, flickering into flame that burns into acrid smoke.

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