Headline News - February 2006

Timonae Flasher Causes Rumble in the Rock
Posted By: Joker Article: FEB06-1 Reported To: UIS Reported On: Ungstir Reported At: Fri Feb 03 14:41:40 3006 Resilience, Ungstir--A Timonae tourist to Resilience today caused a bar fight in the infamous Rockhoppers Tavern after deciding to strut around the place topless. Just before Third Shift began, the young beauty took off her top before approaching the bar and took offense at the understandable advances of the gob-smacked locals.A trio of young men, including Resilience's own Pavlo Ranix -- nephew of renowned Ungstiri doctor, Marlan Ranix -- had to defend what was left of the Timonae's honor when some of the residents got a little too fresh. The typical scuffle ensued with Dmitri Anjin, a local dock worker getting the worst of it from one of the defenders, and a man in strange robes who has been seen around Resilience."The monk-guy defended her all-right," says Eriks Ivanov, one of the witnesses. "But he gave a right talking too afterwards about running around in the nude." Well, here's one in your eye, or two in these case.

Militia Officer Loses Control
Posted By: Joker Article: FEB06-2 Reported To: UIS Reported On: Ungstir Reported At: Wed Feb 08 23:49:29 3006 Witnesses on Resilience's landing pad claim an officer of the Ungstiri Militia displayed some unusual behavior during a most peculiar event. Identified now as Captain Osen Gasparov, reports assure that the man was escorting his unit across the landing pad when he began to show a lack of self-control, babbling incoherently and at one point threatening his own life by pressing a gun against his temple. He was subdued by fellow soldiers and taken to the local medical facilities, where he soon after perished for undisclosed reasons. UIS has recently learned that this very man was in command of the mission that was sent to investigate the now missing asteroid, U-5755."Captain Gasparov suffered from a series of mental problems which we have only recently learned about. It is a shame that we failed to recognize the problem until such an unfortunate thing happened," a spokesman for the Militia claimed. "He will be remembered for his great service." The Ungstiri military faction proceeded to assure that this isolated case was in no way related to the asteroid mission. "U-5755 was destroyed to prevent it from further interfering with transmissions in the area. There is no cause for alarm." This last statement was issued in response to a number of people who expressed concerns over some sort of infectious disease, but those rumors were also quelled by proper medical authorities.

SDP leader marks anniversary
Posted By: Brody Article: FEB06-3 Reported To: SBS Reported On: Sivad Reported At: Sun Feb 12 15:47:45 3006 GRAND ENAJ, SIVAD - Social Democratic Party Leader Geoffrey Sedgemore celebrated 13 months since his election as party leader today at the SDP's Party Conference. He hailed the stablization in the party (as Sedgemore is the longest-serving leader of a major party in Sivadian politics), and a consistent, more moderate message as the reasons that the SDP has seen solid improvements in the polls since the Moncrief incident.Sedgemore hailed his party's opposition in derailing proposed privatisation of NHS services as well as exposing scandals in the ruling parties. He claimed that the Tories and Nationalist coalition government was, "falling apart at the seams, under the weight of their own largesse, self-righteousness, and scandal." High profile scandals have claimed the positions of two cabinet ministers in the past year.

Odd Dealings in a Gray Corridor
Posted By: Hammer Article: FEB06-4 Reported To: INN Reported On: Ungstir Reported At: Sat Feb 18 10:56:35 3006 Apprroximatly 9:48 this morning, a tourist was found dead admist the rundown Gray Corridor resident sector or Ungstiri Two, murdered by one quick smash to the nose, either a lucky blow or one initiated by a trained killer. The investigation is on going, but the Kommisars are sure this is an isolated accident, perhaps a brawl that got out of hand.

Phyrrians reclaim faulty unit
Posted By: Brody Article: FEB06-5 Reported To: INN Reported On: Ungstir Reported At: Sun Feb 19 11:40:54 3006 RESILIENCE, UNGSTIR - A Phyrrian Decimator fleet starship arrived on Ungstir in the early morning hours to retrieve a unit known as RTO-01A for "reprocessing" on Phyrria. The damaged Phyrrian had been stored aboard the UKT Seek and You Shall Find, under the observation of Zeta-9-4GH56. It is unknown what exactly was wrong with RTO-01A, but it is expected that the Phyrrian will be dismantled and salvageable remains will be used in other Phyrrians.

Satellite malfunction ends football broadcast early
Posted By: Brody Article: FEB06-6 Reported To: INN Reported On: Waldheim Reported At: Sun Feb 19 23:47:43 3006 NEW BERLIN, WALDHEIM - Technicians at Volksnet, a broadcast company covering this evening's championship football game between the New Berlin Wermacht and the Bismarck Blitzkriegers, are at a loss to explain why the satellite handling the game conked out with the score tied and seconds left in the match.For those wondering: The Blitzkriegers, heavily favored in the competition, won the game with a last second goal by Gunter Spar.The outage is under investigation, and Volksnet has vowed to replay the game once the satellite is back online.